This amazing Casa de Pueblo is in the small town of Quart de les Valls, near Sagunto. It is 10kms (10mins) from the beach, and 35kms (35mins) from Valencia city. It is on the edge of the Serra Calderona Natural Park, with almost unlimited miles of hiking and bike paths. Although this house was built in 1970, some of the elements of its construction and decoration date from Arabic times...

Well, its more a palace on a hill, but you’ll see why I’m Happier using that title. This villa is outside Denia town, South of the Border from Valencia so to speak, with panoramic views across the countryside and the bay, and of course an actual Castle on a Hill in Denia town, Perfect. If your End Game is to live with the Beautiful People, look no further. Spread over 3 floors, there are 5 bedrooms...

Alpha Males, the fellas, the lads. Good times. Hemingway was the godfather of blokeishness and would have looked on approvingly whilst the latest Stag Do rolled up here to spend a few hours getting sunstroke and alcohol poisoning whilst dodging a baby cow in a bullring, oh you dressed up as a lady, what a hoot...

You know who loved kidneys? Leopold Bloom. James Joyce wrote in Ulysses that they gave his palate "a fine tang of faintly scented urine". (no complaints to the editor please, it can't be disgusting, its literature, innit?) But someone else who loves a kidney are Denia pool designers...

What at first glance looks like a decent if normal townhouse, upon closer inspection hints at a house full of character and with a few stories to tell. Located in the town of El Puig, 3ks from the beach, and 20 from Valencia city. A pretty town, but also a town with an annual rat-throwing festival, so you know its not going to be boring here! The house is really, really big, over 400m2...

Heres a really well built home on a family urbanisation in Naquera, set deep into its winding lanes this secluded plot provides plenty of privacy, peace and quiet with views and easy access to the sport facilities to the rear, perfect to let the kids go and run off some energy, while you enjoy the ridiculously cheap prices in the Bar Restaurante San Miguel. This detached property is currently divided into two separate units...

Well this is a bit of a departure from our usual listings and further away than we tend to venture, so how about a super informative description and top quality photo reportage? Nah, how could I let you down like that? Lets get stuck in. Heres a bell. Probably the best photo of the lot so its the first one I have used, (note to self...

No there’s nothing wrong at all with this one actually, quite the opposite in fact but sometimes the better properties are hard to write, no chance for a pithy observation or sarcastic comment about the dubious layout and kitsch furniture, there are many descriptions on the site designed to entertain and grab your attention but no cheap thrills today im afraid...

Villa Perfecta is aptly named! It is an impeccable property – spacious, light and airy – situated within exclusive La Drova urbanisation, within a minute or so drive (15 minute walk) of the village of Barx and where there are 2 supermarkets, bars and restaurants, butchers and bakers, a pharmacy and doctor’s surgery and bank – everything you need for day-to-day life. Meanwhile Gandia (and its beaches) is a 15 minute drive...