If you’ve ever considered living in Spain, let me save you the trouble. It’s a nightmare, truly the worst decision you could ever make. Back in the day I wrote an article about the 17 worst things about living in Spain, you can see it here, however that was ten years ago so it's time to update the article and let you know why living in Spain now is just horrible. Don't even think of doing it! Here’s a list of the most “horrendous” things about living in this Mediterranean disaster zone. Proceed at your own risk.
The Weather is Way Too Nice
Seriously, who wants 300+ days of sunshine a year? You’re forced to deal with blue skies, warm breezes, and an endless parade of perfect days even in the middle of "Winter". Snow lovers, steer clear—this place is practically allergic to winter (Unless you go to Granada or Madrid... or Asturias... but everywhere else... forget it)
The Siestas Get in the Way of Productivity
How are you supposed to get anything done when the siesta is a national trait and you feel obliged to participate? Imagine a country where businesses shut down for a few hours every afternoon so people can rest or enjoy long lunches with family. Don't they want to sell anything! Scandalous! Who needs downtime, anyway? We thrive on overworking ourselves back home. This resting thing will never catch on.
The Food is Not Bland Enough
Paella, tapas, jamón ibérico, churros con chocolate, Michelin star restaurants, fusion food, international dishes, regional specialities… Honestly, it’s too much. The constant parade of fresh seafood, flavourful produce, and of course world-class wines will just overwhelm your palate. Be prepared to “suffer” through every meal. Other countries may just want to give you food to fuel up and get on with work making money for the man but Spain will never give you Huel or Gruel (Let's face it, they are essentially the same thing)
The Lifestyle is Just Too Relaxed
People in Spain have this bizarre obsession with living life at a leisurely pace. Dinner at 10 p.m and taking two hours for it? Casual strolls after meals? Prioritizing relationships over work? They're mad. It’s like they don’t know the joy of constant stress and hustle. Don't they understand the joy of keeping up with the Jones' and having a slightly better boat parked on their drive even though it is destined never to be used until you trade it in for a bigger one. You can't beat that smug feeling of self righteousness at having beaten those darn Jones'. (I mean you can't... can you?)
Beaches Everywhere
Do you really want to be next to endless stretches of golden sand and turquoise waters? The Mediterranean coast is packed with “horrible” beach towns. I mean what's the use of a beach? The sand gets between your toes, you can't build anything on it, they put bars on them and they get wet on a regular basis. Ugh, the horror of it all, all that golden colouring under a Mediterranean sun (did we mention the 300 plus days of sunshine??)
The Festivals Are Just Too Loud
Las Fallas (see below), La Tomatina, Feria de Abril, the baby Jumping festival (Look it up)… The Spanish love a good party, and they’re obnoxiously good at throwing them throughout all periods of the year. Fireworks, music, parades—how are you supposed to get any peace and quiet? Well, unless you go out into the rugged mountain ranges, huge plains and valleys or almost anywhere in interior Spain but who would want to do that when there's a party on!
The Spanish Are Way Too Friendly
The locals actually talk to you, invite you over, meet up with you going out and make you feel welcome. It’s suspiciously charming. Where’s the cold indifference we’re used to in our big cities? Why won't they allow us to hide under our beanies with our headphones, behind our four walls and just live anonymous lonely lives of quiet desperation like back at home? This garullousness and joie de vivre takes some getting used to. Why bother?
The Cost of Living is Just Too Affordable
I need more incentive to work harder and earn more. Here we pay way less for rent, property, food, wine and most obviously keeping ourselves healthy than in most major economies. It’s honestly an insult to your wallet—you won’t even know what to do with all the extra cash as having things is not the goal in life. Doing things might have to be your new goal in life.
Public Transportation Actually Works
Spain’s trains, buses, and metros are punctual, clean, and affordable. You might even enjoy your daily commute or travels around the country. Where’s the joy and talking points you can get from unreliable and dirty services and constant delays? You'll have to find something else to talk about and that can't be the weather.
History is Everywhere, It's Exhausting
Roman ruins, Gothic cathedrals, medieval castles, prehistoric caves, the fecking Holy Grail!! (Indiana Jones and Monty Python eat your heart out)… There’s just too much history packed into one country. Good luck visiting it all, you can give it a go with the public transport of course. If you do have a go then you’ll probably need several lifetimes but there are worse things to spend your time trying to complete. Nobody ever completes Spain.
The Wine is Too Cheap and Too Good
Spanish wine is both inexpensive and high-quality. For just a few euros, you can enjoy bottles that would cost triple or more elsewhere. You just can't buy that expensive bottle to impress people as I mentioned and bemoaned ten years ago. It's still true and it's truly tragic for those of you looking to make an impression. You'll have to do it with your sparkling repartee instead. With wine this good and cheap your chances of becoming a raging alcoholic are increased exponentially.
The Healthcare System Works
Universal healthcare? Affordable prescriptions? Competent doctors? How dare they provide excellent medical care at such low costs? Where’s the chaos of overpriced insurance plans you're used to? Where are the CEOs providing shareholder value as opposed to quality care whilst watching their backs ;-). Where's the country paying more than any other advanced economy per person and getting the worst health results. Why do we live so long here? Surely this just pointlessly increases our time on this miserable planet.
The Spanish Take Way Too Many Holidays
Spain has one of the highest numbers of public holidays in Europe. More time off? Who even wants that? You’ll just be forced to relax and enjoy life. Don't they understand the value of hustle culture, side gigs and doing more and more? If I don't hear "make it two weeks max to see Europe and arrive a day late back and you'll be sacked and by the way make sure you are checking your email and those Zoom meetings won't attend themselves" then how can I really enjoy my time away? It may never end.
Valencia's Las Fallas Festival is Over The Top
Burning gigantic, artistically crafted statues in the middle of the city while fireworks light up the sky after a five day orgy of fiestas, loud bangs, processions and fire and a month of preparations? It’s way too much fun and creativity. Avoid at all costs.
The Views Will Ruin You
From the turquoise waters of the Mediterranean to the rolling hills of Andalusia, the joyous greenery of the north and the rugged peaks of the Pyrenees, Spain’s scenery is offensively stunning. Your Instagram followers will be much too jealous and they'll probably unfollow you as a result. Eventually you'll just become blasé about the views but if you can't share them with your followers any more it's probably not a bad thing.
You'll Never Want To Leave
The ultimate tragedy of living in Spain is that you will fall in love with the lifestyle, culture, and beauty, you fall in love with living again. (The great tragedy is that the Spanish don't realise this except when they're bragging about it to foreigners. Amongst themselves everything is a mess and something to complain about). Good luck to you though trying to return to your old life after experiencing Spain. It’s unfair... well... almost unfair. You won't care though because you'll be here, you won't leave, you'll just be planning your next trip and experience.
Conclusion
Clearly, Spain is a terrible place to live. Apart from the endless sunshine, amazing food, welcoming people, laid-back lifestyle, the food, the drink, the climate, the history and even the aqueducts you’ll be miserable every single day. Don't come to experience the “horror” for yourself, you'd hate it! Remember we do this so that you don't have to! You can thank us later.
10 Years Later - An Update
Why did we tell you the worst things about living in Spain ten years ago? We did it simply because we wanted you to be prepared for what it was like living here.
However, that was then and this is now.
How have things changed? Let's go through the original worst things about living in Spain and see how they have developed since then. Is it still as bad as it was? ;-) Just in case you don't know what we are talking about, you can see the original post by clicking on the image below.
The Zenlike challenge of bureaucracy here in Spain continues to fascinate and infuriate in equal measure. What would we do and where would we be though without the daily challenges presented to us by officious civil servants and paper clutching officialdom?
Number two continues to be true regarding holidays. Like Rick Astley we will never give them up, a bit like the paperwork really. Not being able to complain about the rain, the copious fruit and veg and having to put up with children in restaurants will always remain the same but as Spain's birth rate falls there aren't so many kids around to complain about.
People continue to visit regularly as we continue to live in misery on the continent because the Daily Mail continues to tell us that's what we do. We still don't get the opportunity to buy loads of raincoats, umbrellas and warm clothes, in fact climate change means we need them even less. However...
... we can now get awful fast food in restaurant chains delivering the same bland experience the World over. However we mostly choose to ignore that part of life here and patronise the locals, the quality and the lesser known. The chains are for tourists and people with little imagination. As I mentioned in the article, wine continues to be cheap, plentiful and pretty amazing. Pity I mostly can't drink it these days.
The pointless Catholic fiestas, the noise and festivities continue and those bells still wake you up if the fireworks have allowed you to sleep in the first place.
The motorways are still straight, long and well maintained and we now have straight, long, fast and brilliantly maintained high speed rail links to most cities to complement them if you don't fancy driving. However, congestion has become a thing in most cities, not to the levels seen elsewhere in the World, but it's there.
Now the bad news. Coffee is no longer between 1 Euro and 1.50 Euro in most places. It's now mostly 1.50-2 Euros but it's still a hell of a lot better than that Starbucks crap and Spain mostly holds out against Costa Coffee and the like.
We also continue to hold out against mega-sprawling cities and despite major efforts pubs and bars close late, but not as late perhaps, they don't go right through the night and don't offer as many lock-ins. Alcohol continues to be cheap! The roast chicken shops continue to thrive but the cost of the roast chicken is now closer to ten euros than five and, finally, the family unit and extended family continues to be a thing. Yes, society still exists here.
So just like ten years ago I pose the question again. What would you add to this litany of misery? And perhaps even more importantly, when are you coming to join us in this miserable existence? Fill in the form below and start your journey to live in Valencia and Spain.
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