Set in the foothills of the Sierra Calderona and La Carrasca, (the best part of Naquera btw, one of the neighbours told me) we find this chalet, villa, house or what i would call a spectacular Mansion, set on an impressively large plot, perfectly secluded and private and despite the seven-figure price tag, extraordinary value for money when you consider its size and condition.

Built in 1976 but renovated, improved and maintained over the years this impressive pile now needs a new lord and lady to stroll through the grounds, tweed and plaid attire are the order of the day before its time to take refreshments on the terrace. Tiptoe through the tulips, sip on the Pimms and Juleps whilst one barks orders at the groundkeeper and halfwit pool boy, then after a long lunch and siesta it’s time for jolly japes on the tennis court with your chums. Chortles.

As dusk falls, evening time naturally leads to cocktails and a black tie dinner with some local VIPs, the youngsters venture outside. Hide and Seek? Golly gosh, what a wheeze.

Simply a wonderful property to enjoy the finer things in life, so pip pip and come along old bean, it would be ghastly bad luck if you missed out. TTFN.